Let me start off by saying that I am a proud Republican, have been since the moment I was eligible to register to vote at 18, which, compared to others might seem like a blink of an eye. I have no intention on reneging on my promise to the party, and to some that may seem like naiveté or blind acquiescence but to them I say, I'm ok with that. But there has been something bothering me for a while, something brewing and somehow, in someway, I need to seek some answers. I have taken issue with some…ok, many, in both the Republican and Democrat Party.
For the past seven years I have lived a life of non-stop politics. From school board elections to the California gubernatorial election. From municipal bond initiatives to state-wide initiatives. I have worked for both parties, for elected officials and otherwise, and have seen both success and failures throughout. But one thing that seems to get me every time is the partisanship that these events ride on. The caustic, demagoguery of even the most shy individual. I'm guilty of it, particularly while in college, but somehow, I realized that what I was saying and thinking, which wasn't much of anything but talking-points and op-ed's to begin with, wasn't getting me the answers I needed, and to this day I am still searching.
Now, of course this, new-found mindset was hardly the birth-child of any news agency or published periodical, rather, the work of my own experiences. Take, for example, the recent California legislation to create an entire day recognizing Harvey Milk for his work and sacrifices in promoting equal rights for homosexuals. My frustration isn't with Harvey Milk, it isn't even with the fact that others in history, deserving of State recognition have yet to be considered. My anger is with the people who decided that the "Harvey Milk bill" was more important then securing water for southern California. My anger is with those who decided that publicly bashing Harvey Milk and those that supported him or the bill was worth more of a fight then that of addressing the economic problems in California. My anger is with the Democrats, and my anger is with the Republicans.
There are hundreds, thousands of examples that I can point to where the desire to "make a statement" supersedes that of fixing actual problems. But maybe that is just it, maybe that is all that the political system can allow, maybe it is only in all the small, statement making bills, initiatives, and television ads where we can find resolution to the bigger problems. Maybe using each of these angry, divisive issues as vehicles for action can we truly make our way to what we would consider the "end game" That would, of course, beg the question, "what is the end game?", "what is it that we are striving for in our participation in the political process?" To win? To win what? To beat the other guy? To what end? I mean seriously, come election time, everyone is running for the finish line and no one knows where it is!
I understand the nature of the two party system, it's ok with me, and it works, because if it didn't, I'd imagine someone would have changed it by now. Sure, you could give me a civics lesson on the origins of the American Political Structure, but my questions would not be directed to anyone living today, rather to the individuals who decided what the structure would be and what vehicles would be used to carry them. Republicans and Democrats alike, third-parties included, continue to lay claims that their respective interpretations of what those intentions were, are the correct ones. Like earth's magnetic field, the two major political parties counterbalance each other in a graceful dance of strategy and skill. But I can't help wonder why it feels like we are all in a blender, of talking heads and editorials, stuck on high.
To me our problems are bigger then Harvey Milk, bigger then the National Rife Association (NRA), I don't know what they are, but these aren't them. It ends with more muted answers and more unanswered questions. I'm not sure where I will find the answers, but if anyone out there has them, feel free to share. Because I'm torn between big thinking and small, decisive action, between winning and not losing. And those thoughts and issues have yet to find a resting place, and they probably never will. A part of me is scared of what I might find, and a part of me doesn't want to know, and a part of me finds solace in the fact that I probably never will and I'm ok with that because I love my life, I love my job, I love my family and friends. Some are Democrats and some are Republicans, all of whom I could never live without.
DM
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